David Bahn – Reflections

She had gone through a very difficult divorce. Her two children were hurt by it as well. They were 8 and 12 – difficult ages to begin with – their pain and disappointment now greatly magnified by their father’s abandonment. The boy, especially, struggled in school and in social settings.

Then one day she went to a divorce recovery group with the children in tow. There were other children there who were dealing with the same pain as they were. He was so relieved to learn that he wasn’t alone suffering in this way. His face brightened. He wasn’t as completely different as he had thought.

Paul speaks of the manner by which God comforts us and allows us to comfort others:

Praise the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! He is the Father who is compassionate and the God who gives comfort. ⁴ He comforts us whenever we suffer. That is why whenever other people suffer, we are able to comfort them by using the same comfort we have received from God. – 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

When we suffer we can easily look for reasons why. We think that if we can just know why we’ll experience some relief or at least be able to deal with the pain a bit better. It is true that if we can discover a reason for the suffering we’re enduring, we may be better able to handle it. We can suffer if we know there will be a good result. We can suffer if we’ve brought it on ourselves.

All too often, though, we suffer for no apparent reason, or for no good reason. Sometimes we suffer unjustly. Those times of distress and trouble undercut our confidence, and can lead us to despair.

When we realize, however, that our suffering not only produces endurance, character, patience and hope, we are better able to go on. Add to that, the comfort that God brings us when we mourn, (cf. Matthew 5:6), or the ways he brings people alongside of us to encourage us and keep us going, and we have the makings of a blessing we can give others.

God comforts us so that we may comfort others. Whether it is a young boy walking into a room and meeting other boys who are facing the same disappointment and pain of their parents’ divorce, or a family being carried through a tragic loss of a loved one by acts of kindness, love, and mercy, those who have been comforted are well-suited to comfort others. In fact, our comfort is not only for our own good. And the real outgrowth of that comfort occurs when we take the blessing we have received and pass it on to others.

There is much more to say about this, and I look forward to sharing it in future posts.

She was frustrated. I could see it clearly. She rolled her eyes almost imperceptibly. But I saw the tell-tale sign of a ministry wife who was ready to go home after worship, as she looked past me at her ministry husband. He was in a deep and lengthy conversation with a man who needed some time and encouragement from him. But she was ready to go. “I just want to go home,” she confided. It seemed that she felt it was a bit of a betrayal even to admit as much. But there she was. Tired. Frustrated. Trying to corral hungry and rambunctious kids. She wanted to go home.

Years before I had been sharing with some brother pastors the challenge I was experiencing in being faithful when administering the Lord’s Supper. That sacrament is such a blessing. It is also something that may be abused. Rigid hard liners make a simple rule: If you’re not a member, don’t come. No exceptions. No ambiguity. Cavalier communers go to the other extreme: Come on down. No need to examine yourself. No need to discern the body. Come on down and eat and drink.

I’m not at home in either group. I was lamenting this conundrum when a wise older pastor said something that really helped.

When St. Paul wrote to the church in Corinth he laid out a number of abuses facing the church there. In fact, I love to point out that if you feel bad about your local church just read 1 Corinthians. They had trouble with factions within the church, marriage and sexual behavior, lawsuits, the gifts and work of the Holy Spirit, proper worship, the role of women, and the Lord’s Supper – to name just a few!

When Paul gets to the issue of the Lord’s Supper he is blunt. “I have no praise for you as I instruct you in the following matter: When you gather, it results in more harm than good” (1 Corinthians 11:17). This is a stunning statement. We might too quickly pass over it. Paul is saying that it would be better if the church had not gathered to celebrate the Lord’s Supper at all rather than abuse it as they were doing. Some were getting drunk. Others were ignoring guests. Still others were feasting in the presence of those who had little or no food at all. He goes on to say, “For, in the first place, when you come together as a church, I hear that there are divisions among you. And I believe it in part, for there must be factions among you in order that those who are genuine among you may be recognized” (1 Corinthians 11:18-19). 

Factions. Finger-pointing. Foolishness! I take verse 19 as sarcasm on Paul’s part. I am not joined by many commentators in this reading, but it makes sense to me. Paul is so angry that he is belittling them: You’ve got to point the finger at each other showing that you’re  right and your brother is wrong You’re doing it at the same time! It’s like two kids each denying that their petty fighting had overturned the lamp in the living room, each claiming it was the other’s fault. The Corinthians’ finger-pointing and faction-choosing foolishness makes me shake my head.

Thankfully we are not left with this conflict unresolved. Paul points them to what really the Lord’s Supper is all about. Here we participate in the body and blood of Christ. We proclaim his death until he comes. We examine ourselves and come in humble repentance to receive the gift of God and re-member Jesus’ suffering and death. That must be our focus.

A young newly-confirmed girl visited a Mormon Sunday meeting at which they observed what they call the “Sacrament.” In that case it was bread and water passed down the rows of pews. She rightly did not partake. That proved to be the correct decision by what happened when she quietly – and without making a scene – simply passed the trays of bread and water to the person next to her. Someone behind her in a stage whisper said, “Sinner!”

Ugh. So right and so wrong. We’re all sinners, and in need of God’s grace and mercy. But so wrong on the part of that whisperer: the sacrament of Jesus’ body and blood is given and shed for sinners! When we come to the Lord’s table, we are saying we are sinners. We need God’s mercy and forgiveness. That’s who this meal is for: sinners. Repentant sinners to be sure. Sinners who believe Jesus’ words without a doubt.

To be cavalier about this meal is to fail recognize it for what it is. To shut people out for for the sake of easy-answer legalism is no better. This is a meal instituted by Christ for us Christians to eat and to drink. To be faithful in its administration is a task not to be taken lightly.

Back to the wise older pastor’s comment to me. As I was expressing my frustration with trying to be faithful without falling into the ditch on either side of the road – too open, or too restrictive – he said, “Well Dave, that’s the price of bearing the cross.” Those were powerful words for me. I could do that for Jesus’ sake. I realize that it’s nothing compared to the actual cross of Jesus. Don’t get me wrong. There is no moral equivalence here. But there is a taste of what Jesus calls his followers to do. We are to be willing to do the difficult thing for the sake of Jesus and his Gospel message.

That day, as the ministry wife looked past me to her ministry husband and told me she just wanted to go home, I offered this thought to her. The only reason you’re waiting here, not breaking in and saying, ‘It’s time to go,’ is because of Jesus’ love in you and for you, your husband, and that person with whom he’s talking. Think of this as bearing the cross in a small way. 

I believe it helped her. I certainly hope so. For there is no other good reason to put ourselves out for others than for the sake of Jesus and his love. We can do it because we don’t want to embarrass ourselves by making a scene. Not a very good reason. We can do it because we’re afraid of the repercussions to ourselves or our loved ones: If I don’t do this I’ll get fired, they’ll make my life miserable, they’ll make fun of me, they’ll call me a wimp… None of those will stand the test of our conscience.

If we do anything for the sake of Jesus, we are fulfilling a calling he gave. Some have gone to their deaths for the sake of Jesus. Most of us will have opportunities to do the smaller things, like being patient, helping someone when it’s not convenient, or suffering unjustly while maintaining a good attitude (cf. 1 Peter 3:13-17). That’s when Jesus’ words come true in our very lives and we discover how precious his promises truly are. Those who take that seriously will not forfeit their souls. They know their souls have been saved by the ransom Jesus gave for them.

And calling the crowd to him with his disciples, Jesus said to them, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. ³⁵ For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel’s will save it. ³⁶ For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul? ³⁷ For what can a man give in return for his soul?”  – Mark 8:34-37

They were sitting my office with a counselor. I was watching him work, seeing how it’s done. He was a trained counselor and fellow pastor from a nearby town, and had agreed to meet with this particularly troubled couple if I would be there with them. So I watched him work. It’s amazing to see a gifted person do his thing.

“I don’t know,” said the angry husband. “I just lose my temper sometimes.” He had done that many times, sometimes violently. “I just can’t control myself.”

I don’t recall just what my colleague said just then, but I was prepared to duck, perhaps to run out of the room. As I recall he said something that was intended to provoke some anger. I thought he was asking for it. But he knew what he was doing. He knew the young angry man could hold his anger in check.

“What do you mean you can’t control your anger? You just did, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, but that’s different. She eggs me on. I just lose my cool.”

She was cringing. I was worried for her. They had confided in me that he could get out of control. That’s why I had asked my friend to come counsel them.

“Yes. But you didn’t lose it with me. How did you do that?”

“I don’t know.” He was calmer now. “I just did.”

“Yes you did. And you can…if you want to.” I was amazed at how this brother in ministry was able to tread on the dangerous territory of angry emotions, without falling into the abyss of full-fledged rage. I also recall how he lovingly confronted the angry young man: “You can control your temper when you want to.”

That’s a good lesson for all of us who wrestle with any lingering and recalcitrant sinful struggle. We may be able to do more than we give ourselves credit for in terms of self-control and resisting temptation. We may never be 100% successful. But we may be more successful than we care to imagine. In fact we may use the “I can’t help it” line a little too quickly, and take ourselves off the hook too easily.

There are excuses akin to the I can’t help it kind. How about, I’ll never do it as well as I should? Or, I don’t want to do it for the wrong motive? There’s also, I don’t want to say it wrongly. All of these are excuses not to do the thing we know we ought to do. They will ultimately drag us down into the pit of defeat and discouragement. There is no true joy in living on excuses.

We certainly do not want to be arrogant. We don’t want to brag. But we can do good by the power of God’s mercy and love. We can hear Jesus speak to us in our moments of excuses or denial:

Jesus: Love your neighbor.

Excuse Giver: O, Lord Jesus, forgive me. I have failed to love my neighbor as I should. I have hurt and harmed him. Forgive me!

Jesus: I know that. I forgive you. Now, love your neighbor.

Excuse Giver: Thank you Lord Jesus! And I will try to love my neighbor, but I know I won’t do it perfectly. Even my best efforts will fail to love him as I should.

Jesus: I know that. I forgive you. I will help you. Now, love your neighbor.

Excuse Giver: Lord Jesus, I will try to love my neighbor, but I don’t want to do it with false motives. I know I cannot please you or earn your favor by loving my neighbor, for I am a sinner.

Jesus: Yes. I know that. But you are also a saint. Now, love your neighbor.

We are sinners. It is true. But we are also saints, and as saints we may honor God by doing the good things we know we ought to do. It might be taking a walk to get some exercise and fight the doldrums of depression. You could simply push away the extra helping of mashed potatoes and gravy. A neighbor may need your kindness to be shown by mowing his lawn. A coworker needs a word of encouragement you can give. Your spouse does need your forgiveness from your heart. By the power of the Holy Spirit you can do those things. Yes you can!

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. – Philippians 4:13

What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? ² By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it? ³ Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? ⁴ We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life. – Romans 6:1-4

If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you. – Romans 8:11

Is there no balm in Gilead?
    Is there no physician there?
Why then has the health of the daughter of my people
    not been restored? – Jeremiah 8:22

Jeremiah is lamenting here – admitting to the spiritual poverty of his own people. As one commentator put it, Jeremiah “saw the hurt of his people in exile, but he also could see no help for them. There was no medicine, there was no physician; all was sadness and mourning.” Jeremiah recognized a deficiency in Israel that even his own people did not perceive.

That same sorrow can easily overcome pastors, counselors, and spiritually-attuned Jesus-followers as they survey the world around them, and even the people who populate the pews of so many churches. We’re often not even aware of our own need for healing while those who watch over our souls are keenly aware of our need.

If, however, we do become aware of our need for God’s mercy, grace, and fortiveness, there is a balm that soothes and heals the sin-sick soul.

I was invited by a member of the church where I served as a pastoral intern to visit a man who was in the hospital. A vicar is a pastoral intern, usually assigned during the third year of a four-year post-college education program. My vicarage was in Cheyenne, Wyoming. I went to the hospital to visit the gentleman who was bed-ridden and obviously near death.

During my visit with him I asked if it would be OK for me to say a prayer. His answer was not unexpected, “I need all the help I can get.” Indeed. So I prayed. I noticed a softness in his demeanor in response to that time so I decided to probe a little bit.

“May I ask you a spiritual question?”

“Sure.”

“If you were to die tonight, do you know for sure you would go to heaven?” This is a pointed question, designed to expose niggling doubts and focus one’s attention toward eternal matters.

“I hope so.” His reply was a common one. Everyone hopes to go to heaven – especially when death looms large.

“May I ask you another question?” He nodded approval. “If you were to die tonight and God were to ask you why he should let you into heaven, what would you say?”

“I’ve always tried to help the youth,” he offered.

I cut him off. “Do you really think that is enough?” He started to cry. He realized it wasn’t enough.

It was in that moment that I brought every Bible promise of the forgiveness of sins, the grace of God, the free gift of eternal life and our eternal hope founded in the death and resurrection of Jesus. I assured him that his sins were forgiven.

He died a very few days later. I was asked to do the funeral, which I did. It was then that I realized how true is the saying, “Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.” At the funeral I discovered that this man had been a prominent and well-respected person in the whole state of Wyoming. He had served as the head of the parks and recreation department. Indeed he had done much for the youth, on many levels. Had I known that, I might not have been so brutal in my probing. God used my foolishness, however, to open his heart to the balm of Gilead.

Here is the balm of Gilead. Jesus forgives sinners. He never congratulates saints. He is never impressed with the righteous. He honors faith. Faith, at its core honors God, attributes to him good intentions, good character, perfect love, and merciful grace. Faith looks to God and says, “God is good. His mercy endures forever. Great is his faithfulness.” Faith honors God, and God honors faith by returning to the one believing the good that the believer attributes to God.

Faith looks at Jesus on the cross and sees God loving us so much that he took our sins into his being. And it killed him. Faith looks at the tomb in which Jesus was laid and sees our Lord buried there. Faith sees also an empty tomb and a victorious Savior, and a promise that because he lives we too shall live. Faith looks across the eons of time to the Great Last Day when we will be raised and in new, glorified, perfected, bodies – bereft of all sin, sickness, suffering, and sorrow – rejoice in his salvation. Faith receives the gifts of God and looks forward to the perfect outcome of having the balm of Gilead poured into our sin-sick souls.

There is a balm in Gilead
To make the wounded whole;
There is a balm in Gilead
To heal the sin sick soul.

– African-American Spiritual dating from the mid-1800’s

A friend once described divorce as the gift that keeps on giving. She was dealing with her nearly-adult sons, challenged by their willfulness, and struggling with the ways in which their father was undercutting her parenting. She was happily married to a godly man who had committed himself to helping her raise her sons. Their mischief, misbehavior, and defiance had cost him some sleepless nights. It was for him as well as her – though he had never been married – a gift that kept on giving. Only the gifts it gave were grief, frustration, discord, and stress.

There are times we genuinely need to lament, when we need to feel bad. For bad things do happen to us. We must sometimes walk through the valley of the shadow of death. To deny that is not helpful or healing. We’ve considered that in a previous post. There are those specific difficult situations that require more than lamenting, and the break up of a marriage presents that need.

If something is in the Bible one time, we know it’s true. If it’s found two times, it is certainly true. If it is found in the Bible three or more times, it is “most certainly true.” Jesus quotes from the book of Moses, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). That passage shows up in Matthew 19:5; Mark 10:8, and Ephesians 5:31, and 1 Corinthians 6:16.

Paul fleshes out the implications of that truth when speaking of sexual relationships outside of marriage.

Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! ¹⁶ Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, “The two will become one flesh.” ¹⁷ But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him.¹⁸ Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. ¹⁹ Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, ²⁰ for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. – 1 Corinthians 6:15-20

Although the immediate reference is to sexual relations with a prostitute, the truth applies to any sexual union. We become one with the one with whom we unite sexually. This means sexual promiscuity brings with it a trail of pain and trouble.

That pain lingers. It comes in the form of intentional or unintentional comparison with other partners. Sometimes lingering guilt about actions we know were not pleasing to God undercuts the intimacy with our spouse. When two become one and that one is torn apart, there is inevitable emotional scarring. It is inevitable. Guilt, shame, hardness of heart, objectifying and sexualizing other people made in the image of God all linger like a bad odor that will not go away.

There is, thanks be to God, a path of healing and restoration. It begins with contrition, which gives way to faith in the goodness, grace, mercy and forgiveness of God. Then comes the opportunity to experience the healing grace of God, as he pours into the cracks of our souls the balm of Gilead.

Divorce and sexual sin is not the unforgivable sin. Sometimes those are visited upon us as well, and we are victimized by others’ actions. For most people who have experienced that pain, the process of healing is a long one. God’s goodness is the wellspring for such healing and hope, and the focus for tomorrow’s post.

They sat in my office distressed about the state of their marriage. “Here we are again. Same story. We got things back together 10 years ago. We thought we had it fixed. Then 7 years later same thing. Now, here we are again. Is there any hope for us. I just don’t know if I can pull it together again.” She was in tears. He stared off into space.

It might be the never-ending weight loss/gain/loss yoyo, sometimes call the battle of the bulge. It could be a struggle to get your finances in order. Some folks have a perennial struggle with losing their temper. Still others a chronic illness. Why don’t these things just go away? Shouldn’t we somehow be able to conquer our demons? Shouldn’t we be able to live a normal happy and productive life on an ongoing consistent basis?

Well, no. Not if we’re honest with ourselves and willing to be brutally honest about our failures. The expectation that all will be well this side of heaven is not only unrealistic, but sets us up for disappointment and more failure.

Certainly we make progress as we go through life. We gain better self-control, and are able to conquer certain proclivities. More often than not, however, it’s a whack-a-mole proposition. We fix one issue only to have another rear its ugly head. We battle sexual and substance temptations in our younger years. Then in our middle age years we discover that issues of insecurity or worry rule our hearts. In our later years we often throw away our filters, becoming willing to be angry and self-righteous all too quickly. The struggle continues. It only takes new forms.

The first of Martin Luther’s 95 Theses stated, “When our Lord and Master Jesus Christ said, ‘Repent’ (Mt 4:17), he willed the entire life of believers to be one of repentance.” This is not a one-time thing. If you ask me whether I’ve been born again, I would say, “Yes. Again, and again, and again. I repent daily, and am born again and anew daily in Christ.”

In short it should not surprise us if we must battle against sin again and again. I should be concerned if I feel no compulsion to repent. If I don’t feel the need to repent, I’m in trouble. If there is no more struggle, I might well fear that I’m like the lukewarm Christians in Laodicea (Revelation 3:14-16).

Some might consider this a defeatist attitude. They might rebel against the idea that we’ll always have to struggle with sin, and constantly need to repent. But the greater danger is that we lull ourselves into a false sense of security, and end up falling farther and harder because of our false hopes and unrealistic expectations.

Thankfully, however, that’s not the whole story. Jesus says that the poor in spirit are those who are blessed; theirs is the kingdom of heaven (Matthew 5:3). Not only so, but we have the promise of God’s grace and forgiveness when we do fail. We also have the power of the Holy Spirit and the Resurrected Christ at work within us to will and do the good things that God has already lined up for us to do.

Galatians 5:17 says, “For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.” It is a conundrum. We are not able to do the good things we want to do with consistency because of the sinful flesh. Nor are we “able” do do the sinful things we are tempted to do because of the presence of the Holy Spirit.

So how are we to live? We should not expect ever to outgrow our need for forgiveness. At the same time we must rejoice in and make use of the power of the Holy Spirit within to battle against sin. This is the battle of life as God’s sons and daughters.

I tried to offer some hope to the couple. I encouraged them to keep at it; to risk the disappointment of trying and slipping back into their old ways. They made the effort and managed to make things work. This is the call of God to all of us who recognize Jesus as their Lord. Frankly, however, not everyone makes the effort. Some marriages fail. That brings with it a tail of woe and pain that keeps on giving. Dealing with that is the subject for another day.

For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. ⁹ And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. – Galatians 6:8-9

I couldn’t find my place as a real estate broker. I couldn’t make the grades as a pre-med student. I was put off by the idea of going to school to be some sort of junior executive. I was floundering. The interesting thing about all that is the solution was not something I engineered – even though I did pursue it. Let me explain.

I didn’t ask to be born. Most times people say that when they’re young and angry with their parents. It’s a cry of frustration from those who don’t like how life is going. It happens, also, to be true of all of us. As such a vitally important element of finding your sweet spot comes into focus.

The sweet spot is the place on the tennis racket which delivers the most controllable and powerful serve or volley. It’s the place on the bat that sends the ball into the grandstands. It’s the spot on the golf club that makes the pros look as though they’re barely swinging but the ball flies through the air in a beautiful arc.

Our life’s sweet spot is the place where our capabilities, and the core of our being combine with the context of life in sweet harmony and personal satisfaction. It’s where our core, competencies, and context align.

Most of us wrongly think that we have control over one or more of those three things. While to some extent we do have control, to a much greater extent we do not. I was not born in the upper Michigan peninsula to a family who lived off the land, without TV, electricity, or any other technologies we take for granted. If I was, it would be unlikely that I would have a love for technology of all kinds. On the other hand someone who lives in those conditions most likely would be lost if he or she were to try to navigate the urban jungle that is downtown Houston. Similarly the skills, abilities and talents would not easily transfer from one realm to another. It is also less likely that someone up there would wish to live down here, or vice versa.

I was born in a middle American small town to parents who were entrepreneurs, Baptists, and Republican. I didn’t choose any of those things, but they shaped me. Each of us is similarly shaped by forces and circumstances over which we have no control. We live in the 21st century: another circumstance that shapes our lives, potential, and challenges unique to this time.

Within those circumstances we have some choice. But our choices are often limited more than we might realize. That is why we sometimes have a difficult time finding our place and experiencing a sense of purpose. We fail to acknowledge the limitations of our circumstances – including the capabilities, and core of our being that play into a life of meaning and purpose.

The process of discovering these three, and examining how they intersect to become a personal life sweet spot is something through which Diane and I have led several times for pastors, spouses, ministry leaders, and dedicated lay leaders. It’s called Leadership From Within® and has been a significant aha moment especially for pastors and their wives.

The discovery for me was the context of a good friend, a newly-discovered faith, and a path forward on which I would discover newly unfolding capabilities that God was opening before me. It was made possible also by Diane who, when I first told her seriously that I wanted to be a pastor said, “I think you would be a good pastor.” Little did she know at that time what that would mean for her as well.

Thankfully we both embraced the most important core and context for living in the sweet spot of purpose and meaning: our identity as children of God, and understanding our purpose under Christ. Martin Luther put it this way:

I believe that Jesus Christ, true God, begotten of the Father in eternity, and also true man, born of the virgin Mary, is my Lord. He has redeemed me, a lost and condemned person. He has purchased and freed me from all sins, from death, and from the power of the devil, not with gold or silver but with his holy, precious blood and with his innocent suffering and death. He has done all this in order that I may belong to him, live under him in his kingdom, and serve him in eternal righteousness, innocence, and blessedness, just as he is risen from the dead and lives and rules eternally. This is most certainly true. – Luther’s Small Catechism, Explanation to the 2nd article of the Creed

Do you not know that as many as were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? ⁴ Therefore we have been buried with him through baptism into death, in order that just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, so we too may live a new life. – Romans 6:3-4

I was casting about during my hiatus between college engagements. I hadn’t flunked out of college, but I had been dangerously close to making it onto the not-so-good list of which the academic dean informs you in light of insufficient academic performance.

I’ve previously shared the story of my real estate forray. One reason for my failure in that effort was my lack of motivation and failure to find a sufficient reason to succeed at selling real estate. The practices and necessary real estate disciplines lay in a pool of unmotivated malaise. I was not doing the kind of hard work necessary to secure listings and sell houses. I couldn’t see a purpose for my life in that field.

That has nothing to do with whether being a real estate agent is a godly calling. It certainly can be. Fact is, one of the real estate companies in town was run by members of the church I had grown up in. They were good and godly people. Their presence in the mix made it less urgent in my mind for me to be a godly real estate agent. They were standing in that gap. I truly wanted to be a godly man in whatever field I chose. But I was not able to manufacture the chutzpah necessary to make a go of it in real estate.

Nor was I able to leverage the thought of being “a godly hotel manager, doctor, or businessman” as one or more people tried to convince me to try. In fact several girls I dated during those years had a similar response whenever I mentioned the idea of studying to be a pastor. “Oh but don’t you think you could be a Christian…” they would say and then they would offer other vocational suggestions: doctor, businessman, sailor, soldier man, taylor, and the like. I called them the “Oh, but don’t” girls. I could have done any of those things in theory. But nothing in those vocations – as godly and good as they might be – captured my imagination or passion.

I was floundering. I had no purpose to which I could hitch my wagon. I saw no purpose in pursuing those goals. I believe today that God was at work in keeping me from being satisfied with any of those pursuits. That does not mean, however, that they are unworthy or ungodly. It simply was not the purpose God had planned for me.

Some people place being a pastor at the top of a pyramid of godliness and the most significant way one can serve God. This is heresy. If anything, being a pastor should be at the bottom. The Bible says that if anyone desires to be an overseer (pastor) he desires a noble work (1 Timothy 3:1). But it also says, “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31). Martin Luther spoke highly of the office of pastor. He also said, “If you ask an insignificant maid-servant why she scours a dish or milks the cow, she can say: I know that the thing I do pleases God, for I have God’s Word and commandment…God does not look at the insignificance of the acts but at the heart that serves Him in such little things.” 

More often than not we underestimate how what we do – grand or mundane – can have an impact for the sake of God’s kingdom. You don’t have to be a pastor or full time church worker to do so.

But you do have to have a purpose. You need a raison d‘être (reason for being), or better yet, a reason for doing what you’re doing: purpose, meaning, significance. When that’s present the world is right-side-up and we can slay dragons. When it’s not there, we flounder and shuffle around in a weary malaise of purposelessness.

Recently this need has become apparent to Diane and me once again. We both serve in church-related work. We both engage in sharing the message of Jesus’ love. But even so we are finding the need to recapture a sense of purpose on a personal and intentional basis.

That involves connecting our identity, gifts and talents, with our specific context. We’ll look at that tomorrow.

Christ died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised. – 2 Corinthians 5:15

I was tired and discouraged, ready to hang it up. At breakfast with three of my prayer partners I asked, “What’s the most difficult thing you’ve ever successfully accomplished?” I don’t remember their answers, but in the back of my mind I knew I wanted to get healthier, and that would involve doing something about my health habits – specifically my completely stagnant and sedentary lifestyle. It was 2013 and I needed to get some exercise.

I decided to do it. I told them that I was going to do something every day. Whether it was a two-mile brisk walk or a 10 minute walk around the block, I was going to do some physical activity every day. On Sunday mornings I would get up at 5 (which is actually my normal Sunday morning wake-up time), and go walk before my shower and breakfast. Most often t was a 20 minute walk. Sometimes it was a 10 minute walk. Other days I would go two miles or longer.

After a while I decided to join a gym and make use of a personal trainer. Michael was an excellent trainer. That means he would always push me, but he would also be extremely patient. I could do very little of of the things I could do. I recall one challenge involved simply getting up off the weight bench (with hand weights in my hands). There is more to it than it sounds – at least it was when I first started doing it several times in a row. As time when on, I gained core strength, stamina, and endurance. Before long I graduated from one-on-one personal training to the group workouts they held each day at the gym.

In 2015 I had to ask my prayer partners another question. I had initially planned to retire (reposition might be a better word) by 2016. But I was having second thoughts. I didn’t know why, but I was feeling ready to continue on past 2016. One of my partners asked me a question that started me thinking. When I told them I was re-considering my retirement plans, he said, “You need to think about why you said that in the first place and what has changed to change your mind.”

Initially I thought it might be financial considerations. I wasn’t sure I could afford to retire. But that wasn’t what had changed. I realized that I was feeling more healthy. I had more endurance. I wasn’t as tired. I was capable of continuing on in the work to which God had called me.

We may not feel bad about feeling bad. But we may feel bad for a legitimate reason. We may be tired, worn out, and spent. That can happen at any age. And more and more people are finding that their physical health is compromised to the extent that they have no desire to keep going. They sit and watch TV. THey sit at a desk for their job. They get no exercise. They feel bad because they are physically in poor shape.

Health experts say that sitting is the new smoking. According to an article published on the Mayo Clinic website:

Any extended sitting — such as at a desk, behind a wheel or in front of a screen — can be harmful. An analysis of 13 studies of sitting time and activity levels found that those who sat for more than eight hours a day with no physical activity had a risk of dying similar to the risks of dying posed by obesity and smoking. However, unlike some other studies, this analysis of data from more than 1 million people found that 60 to 75 minutes of moderately intense physical activity a day countered the effects of too much sitting. Another study found that sitting time contributed little to mortality for people who were most active.

The article goes on to advise getting up from your chair regularly, using a standing desk, or even a walking desk, having meetings on the go (walking as a group rather than sitting at a conference table), and the like.

Sometimes we suffer for reasons beyond our control. Other times we can take steps to overcome our malaise. It may be simply a matter of getting some exercise. Add to that the studies that have been done with students who exercise before class sessions in school. A New York Times opinion piece offers:

While admitting that the studies are limited, a panel of experts assembled by the institute says that “a growing body of evidence” suggests children who are more active are better able to focus their attention, are quicker to perform simple tasks, and have better working memories and problem solving skills than less-active children. They also perform better on standardized academic tests.

Ben Sternke says that our physical capital is more important than intellectual or financial capital for the sake of God’s mission. While spiritual capital is the most vitally important, and relational capital is second in importance for serving the cause of the rule and reign of Jesus, if we’re not physically capable of doing anything, we cannot have the impact in others’ lives to which God calls us.

If we have no sense of God’s calling, or purpose for life that’s another matter. That’s a matter for tomorrow.

God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body. – 1 Corinthians 6:20

Anyone who has been married for more than a few months will attest to the difficult challenges you must face and overcome if you are to remain married. That was true for Diane and me after only a few months of wedded life. We are both able to express our opinions clearly. We don’t always agree. In those first years that combination was accompanied by the inevitable external pressures that come with moving, going on to school, working at a job significantly below her educational level to earn a PHT (Putting Hubby Through) degree. There was also the challenge of learning theology, hermeneutics, homiletics, and Greek.

One Sunday we were on the way to worship and happened to listen to Dr. Oswald Hoffmann, the Lutheran Hour radio program speaker. His message was simple. It was to married couples and quite simple: “Hang in there … Together!” It had such an impact on us that we wrote a letter and received a printed copy of the message.

Since that time we have learned much, including the importance for each of us of love and respect the other. This is a concept that we’ve come to appreciate. In his book, Love and Respect, by Emerson Eggerichs describes these two qualities as, “the love she most desires, and the respect he desperately needs.” He picks up on the expression of Ephesians 5:33, “However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” 

Notice he is to love his wife. She is to respect her husband. We’ve found it true for us. We both want both love and respect. But when we are hard-pressed Diane tends to feel unloved, and I have a sense that I’m not being respected. Sometimes we’ll even identify it as such. It can truly help.

There is yet another even more vital ingredient to marriage faithfulness and success. That is an awareness that as husband and wife, we are both broken. In other words, I cannot demand from Diane that which I am not for her. I have faults. I must accept her together with her faults.

Certainly we must appreciate the blessings we see in each other. Failing to acknowledge that will erode the foundations of even the strongest marriage. But if we do not recognize our own brokenness – especially when we rub up against our spouse’s brokenness – we will become self-righteous and judgmental. Those are not the building blocks of marriage or of any relationship.

When we do recognize our mutual need for mercy, grace, and forgiveness, we are in a better place to find true joy and blessings in marriage and in life itself. It’s another place not to feel bad about feeling bad.

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. – Ephesians 5:31-33