David Bahn – Reflections

Psalm 28:1-2

To you, O Lord, I call;
    my rock, be not deaf to me,
lest, if you be silent to me,
    I become like those who go down to the pit.
² Hear the voice of my pleas for mercy,
    when I cry to you for help,
when I lift up my hands
    toward your most holy sanctuary.

Psalm 58:10-11

The righteous will rejoice when he sees the vengeance;
    he will bathe his feet in the blood of the wicked.
¹¹ Mankind will say, “Surely there is a reward for the righteous;
    surely there is a God who judges on earth.”

Psalm 88:1-2

O Lord, God of my salvation,
    I cry out day and night before you.
² Let my prayer come before you;
    incline your ear to my cry!

Psalm 118:1-4

Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. – Hebrews 13:4

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. ²⁵ And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. – Genesis 2:24-25

Three times, God leads the writers of the Old and New Testament books to record the words of Genesis 2:24: Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Marriage is a big deal to God. The commandment to keep it pure is one of the Big Ten. The space given in the New Testament to the dangers and evil of adultery and sexual sin reveals just how serious God is: God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous (Hebrews 13:4).

What’s the big deal? That question isn’t even being asked these days by much of the world. It’s no deal. Marriage has become a very optional ornament on the various sexual and relational arrangements being explored these days. I wonder why anyone would want to get married if they are not a Christian, Jew of Muslim. What’s the upside to something so disposable (in the minds of the world)?

But for the Christian there is a much deeper reason for keeping marriage pure. It is a picture of the relationship between Christ and the Church. 

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” ³² This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. ³³ However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. – Ephesians 5:31-33

Marriage is far more than a convenient arrangement. It is more even, than a foundation for families to grow and thrive (which it most certainly is). It is a picture of Jesus’ love for his bride, the Church, and the Church’s love for her Savior. 

This picture proved to be very helpful to us more than once. One time in particular, Diane and I were diving down a wormhole of disagreement, misunderstanding, and hurt. Everything I said she misunderstood. Every word she said I took the wrong way. It was ugly. Tears. Hurtful words. We built forts of resentment. We lobbed bombs of anger. Get the picture?

The Holy Spirit somehow got through to me in the midst of this and I thought about this verse. I prayed a quick prayer, “How can I die for this woman?” Then it came to me: I didn’t need to die for her. Jesus already had done that. I needed to see her as my bride: without spot or wrinkle, blemish or stain. To the glory of God and by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, I determined, The next words that come out of her mouth are going to be good, pure, loving, and gracious. The result was instantaneous. The wormhole dissolved into a path of righteousness in a green pasture beside still waters. It was a moment that we shall never forget. 

We saw that night how blessed it is to play out our roles reflecting the relationship between Christ and the Church. It was a delightful moment of love and respect. 

Whenever we fail to reflect in our marriages Christ’s love and the Church’s delight in her Savior we sully ourselves. Whether in gross, crude, and ugly ways, or in a subtle manner we not only dishonor God, but we cast a poor light on the love of Christ for his Bride, the church: You and me, and all believers. And that’s a big deal. 

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” ¹⁹ So the Lord God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one. ²⁰ He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him.

²¹ So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. ²² Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man.

²³ “At last!” the man exclaimed.

“This one is bone from my bone,
    and flesh from my flesh!
She will be called ‘woman,’
    because she was taken from ‘man.’”

²⁴ This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.

²⁵ Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame. – Genesis 2:18-25 NLT

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. ²⁵ And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. – Genesis 2:24-25

It was a required book during my seminary studies, The Act of Marriage, by Tim and Beverly La Haye. And while it was not a sex manual in the strictest sense, it was certainly an unexpected text book for seminary studies. But it was needed. In it the La Hayes talked frankly about things married couples should expect, experience, and enjoy. Those four decades ago, just coming out of the days of the sexual revolution, it was also a needed corrective. It helped focus on the sacredness of marriage, and provided a helpful counterbalance to the over-reaction against the rampant sexual promiscuity that was just beginning to show itself in those days.

Today, the book would seem too tame and circumspect for many. We’ve come so far. Sadly. The sexual revolution has given way to the sexual free-for-all. In every sense of the term. All bets are off. Gender issues, like gay and lesbian sexual relations have given way to transgender questions and gender identity debates. Free love has given way to friends with benefits encounters. And marriage is very often now seen as a very optional cherry-on-top addition to an already-established arrangement, for reasons I’m not certain I even understand. The Act of Marriage has become the act of whoever, whenever, however one wants to embrace it. 

But the Act of Marriage is God’s design, part the three-fold definition of marriage itself. It is not to be sullied by course language, crude jokes, or haphazard forays into the wild oats moments of life. Too much focus on this one thing mis-balances the others. Neglect of this one thing uncenters the marriage. Peter Scazzero even suggests that couples spend 20 minutes every day in skin-to-skin contact. That will not always end in intercourse, but it will tear down barriers that are hinted at in v. 25. 

It is the ultimate expression and culmination of leaving and holding fast, of which the writer of the Hebrews says, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous” (Hebrews 13:4). 

Tomorrow: What’s the big deal about marriage?

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” ¹⁹ Now out of the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. ²⁰ The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. ²¹ So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. ²² And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. ²³ Then the man said,

“This at last is bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
because she was taken out of Man.”

²⁴ Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. ²⁵ And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. – Genesis 2:18-25

If I begin the sentence, “This is most certainly…” most people who have been through Lutheran confirmation classes will be able immediately to fill in the missing word: “true.” Martin Luther (the 15th century monk who ignited the Protestant Reformation) in his catechism ended the explanation to each of the three articles of the Apostle’s Creed, with the words, “This is most certainly true.”

He meant to emphasize that the confession of faith we make, using those words are core and foundational to the Christian faith, and that there can be no doubt about those teachings on the part of Christians throughout the world. In fact the Apostle’s Creed is one of three Ecumenical Creeds, that is confessions of faith that are embraced by Christians in Protestant, Orthodox, Roman Catholic churches. Even those who are not in churches that acknowledge the creeds will most likely embrace all the teachings expressed in these creeds.

All these teachings come from the Bible, the Prophetic and Apostolic Scriptures of the Old and New Testaments. Now here is why I offer the title of this post in a manner that makes this point: The Genesis 2:24 passage is true. It’s in the Bible. It’s God’s word. Clear. Profound. True. 

But wait, there’s more! This passage is repeated word, for word, in Matthew 19 and Ephesians 5. If something is in the Bible once, it’s true. If it’s there twice, it’s certainly true. And if three times it’s found, it is most certainly true! 

God’s design for marriage is offered here: Leaving, holding fast, and becoming one. For one to be married he has to cut the apron strings, be independent from his parents, and able to make his own decisions. Today this applies also to women. She must be able to make her own decisions, be defined apart and independent from her parents. Only then can one hold fast to another. When one holds fast to his wife and a wife to her husband, a powerful partnership is formed and found. 

For many this is the long term challenge. We are so easily distracted. We too easily see only the green grass on the other side of the fence and miss the weeds, or ignore the fact that our neighbor spends much more time, energy, and money on making the grass green! We see only the fantasy lover and not the dishes to be done, the sick days, or the bad moods that come upon all people living in a fallen world.

Tomorrow we’ll consider the becoming one facet of marriage. It’s vital and essential to marriage in the fullest sense. And it is richer and ever more delightful when we enter into it from the first two elements outlined here. In fact, each of these three facets of marriage bolsters the other. It’s easy to focus on the most obvious joy or problem in seeking to enrich our marriage relationships. But all three need nurture: Clear self-definition (leaving), deep commitment, and intimate connection. This is most certainly true. 

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” ¹⁹ Now out of the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. ²⁰ The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. ²¹ So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. ²² And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. ²³ Then the man said,

“This at last is bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
because she was taken out of Man.”

²⁴ Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. ²⁵ And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. – Genesis 2:18-25

And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. ²³ Then the man said,

“This at last is bone of my bones
    and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
    because she was taken out of Man.” – Genesis 2:22-23

“Ish? Ish?? Ish…Ishah!!! That’s how my seminary professor described Adam’s reaction to the first wedding ceremony ever. God is bringing the bride down the garden path to her husband-to-be. The groom is anticipating the arrival of his bride. And when the moment comes, Adam is delighted. The Hebrew poetry makes that clear, and so my professor’s imaginary first encounter between man and woman would reflect that.

The Hebrew word for man is “ish” and the word for woman is “Ishah.” Adam has been through a time of searching and learning that the animals, even man’s best friend, are no substitute for what he really needs. He needs a partner. He needs someone who knows what it’s like to be a living being. He needs a counterpart: the same, but different. So as he’s awakening from his deep sleep and in the post surgery grogginess, he sees something, someone. Very much the same, but delightfully different.

There is something magical in the attraction between a man and a woman. Sadly, however, that magic has been tainted by sin, and in our fallen world it is not always what it should be. But for a moment, perhaps we can imagine that special, holy, magical moment when Eve first met Adam. And in imagining it seek to capture a bit of it in our marriage relationships. 

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” ¹⁹ Now out of the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. ²⁰ The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. ²¹ So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. ²² And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. ²³ Then the man said,

“This at last is bone of my bones
    and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
    because she was taken out of Man.”

²⁴ Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. ²⁵ And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. – Genesis 2:18-24

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”  – Genesis 2:18

(The full Genesis 2 text is available below)

I’ve confessed previously that I enjoy batching it whenever Diane travels for work or to see family…for a few days. My friend told me that he liked it too, when his wife was gone…until he ran out of TV shows or movies he wanted to watch. We men are a self-centered lot. 

I remember one occasion a few years ago that I was feeling really quite ill. I called Diane, who was visiting family at the time, and bemoaned my illness. I had a fever. I ached. I really felt like I had been hit by a Mac truck. Her response was less caring or sympathetic than I had hoped for. I was very disappointed, and had to struggle through it. It was truly not good to be alone.

I’d have to allow, however, that Diane did not realize how really sick I was. I think, in retrospect, that I was having a gall bladder attack. And my experience of her response is greatly clouded by my illness. And there was little she could do in that moment from 1,000 miles away. So, please do not hear me throwing her under the bus! She’s a wonderful helpmate, partner in ministry and a compassionate woman of God. The experience simply illustrates how it is not good for the man to be alone. 

That took place in the context of life in a fallen world. Fallen people experiencing the effects of the fall into sin. Listen, however, as God makes the pronouncement, “It is not good that the man should be alone.” And take note: This pronouncement comes to man in a sinless state and in a pristine world. Perfect. Not fallen. No brokenness. And on the day that would ultimately be called good, there is a moment where it is not good.

Man is incomplete without woman. When God brings animals to the man, even his best friend will not do. No suitable helper is to be found for him. And since the animals have been created – presumable already male and female – it seems clear that God is trying to teach man a lesson. An important lesson. We’re no good solo. 

I realize there are exceptions. Jesus says as much (Matthew 19:10-12). But it is quite another thing to believe we can simply go it alone. God designed man to be needy. He designed man to need a helper. And I am thankful for Diane. God brought her into my life and she is my helper, partner, wife, and a faithful woman of God. It’s not good for this man to be alone, and that has much more to do than being bored because I’m bored with my TV or eating choices. 

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” ¹⁹ Now out of the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. ²⁰ The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. ²¹ So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. ²² And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. ²³ Then the man said,

“This at last is bone of my bones
    and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
    because she was taken out of Man.”

²⁴ Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. ²⁵ And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. – Genesis 2:18-24

Selected verses from Psalm 21; 51; 81; 111; 141 for your meditation and edification on this Lord’s Day

The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it. ¹⁶ And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, “You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, ¹⁷ but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.”

¹⁸ Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” – Genesis 2:15-28

When Diane used to travel more, I would enjoy the first two or three days of her absence. I could watch the movies I wanted. I could eat what I wanted. I could chart my own course. But I quickly would quote Genesis 2:18, “It is not good for the man to be alone.” Of course the context is quite different. The gift of a godly wife helped me in many different ways – companionship, healthier choices, and better use of time.

At the end of each day of creation God assessed his work, “and it was good.” But here on the day God created man and woman, there was a time when it was not good. This is a remarkable statement. This isn’t a pronouncement about whether or not it was complete, or finished. This is a moral judgment. This is in the immediate context of the presence of the tree of knowledge of good and evil. This was a not-good moment – before Adam and Eve’s rebellion and the fall into sin. 

This reveals something about our created state. Man is not complete by himself. God designed us to need another. And we will see how this is resolved in the following verses. The fact remains: There are good and evil times and events. And God assesses these all. We may think we know what is good. We may be quite convinced of our judgment. We may even be tempted toward calling good something that we really desire. But all that is a foolish pursuit. Better we allow God to determine what is good and what is evil, and thank him that he (alone) is good (cf. Mark 10:18).

A river flowed out of Eden to water the garden, and there it divided and became four rivers. ¹¹ The name of the first is the Pishon. It is the one that flowed around the whole land of Havilah, where there is gold. ¹² And the gold of that land is good; bdellium and onyx stone are there. ¹³ The name of the second river is the Gihon. It is the one that flowed around the whole land of Cush. ¹⁴ And the name of the third river is the Tigris, which flows east of Assyria. And the fourth river is the Euphrates.

Genesis 2:10-14

Where’s your favorite place? Mountains? Seashore? Lake? Hill Country? Back yard? If you could pick the ideal place to be, where would it be? Imagine it now. As I think about it, I would be tempted to describe it in terms of what it is not. Not cold. Not diseased. Not quarantined. Not without electricity, or otherwise not in need of electricity. On the positive side: warm, peaceful, and beautiful. With many beautiful vistas and photographic opportunities. 

I imagine the Garden of Eden was all that and more. No need for electricity. No need for electronics or diversions. No need for AC or heat. The perfect balance of dietary delights. Well-watered. The Master Gardener’s magnum opus. Prepared for man and woman to tend, subdue, and enjoy. 

This place, the source of four rivers, the garden, is center stage of the curtain of history. This is the place where all will unfold, and to which we will all One Day return in a new and better way. This is Paradise. It points us toward a deeper appreciation of the physical side of life and body.

Some Christians make little of the body. They speak of the immortality of the soul which can actually detract from the true teaching of the resurrection of the body and the life of the world to come. But this is our hope. Jesus is preparing a place for us that we may be with him forever. Even on the cross he promised the repentant thief, “Today you will be with me in paradise.”

But here we are. We’re in a fallen world, rife with sin, sickness, natural and man-made disasters. When we build our homes, and make them as comfortable as we are able, we’re revealing a deeper yearning of which we are too often not aware. Whatever yearning of our hearts and souls may be, they will never find fulfillment apart from God. His great delight is toward those who take their rightful place in his eternal kingdom: his new heaven and earth.

When no bush of the field was yet in the land and no small plant of the field had yet sprung up—for the Lord God had not caused it to rain on the land, and there was no man to work the ground, ⁶ and a mist was going up from the land and was watering the whole face of the ground— ⁷ then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature. ⁸ And the Lord God planted a garden in Eden, in the east, and there he put the man whom he had formed. ⁹ And out of the ground the Lord God made to spring up every tree that is pleasant to the sight and good for food. The tree of life was in the midst of the garden, and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. – Genesis 2:5-9

We were in the college philosophy class where I had been very up front about my Christian faith. Two guys in particular decided to take me on. One chided me for believing Jesus’ words in Matthew 5 about not worrying about tomorrow, “for tomorrow will have enough trouble of its own.” He dismissed it out of hand as futile and foolish. I was amazed that anyone would be so bold in rejecting any of Jesus’ teachings. Silly and innocent me.

The other challenger hit me with, “You believe the Genesis account of creation?” “Yes I do,” I replied. “Well then how come there are two different accounts? One where man is made after the plants and the other before?” 

I didn’t know what to say. I had not studied that carefully enough, so I was stuck without an answer. I later asked my pastor about this and he showed me that Genesis 2 is a recapitulation of the sixth day of creation, and that the reference about no plants growing is specifically about the garden itself. 

God is setting the stage for the Divine Drama that is soon to unfold. This is preparing the stage for the moment that the “Oops” will become “Ugh.” 

A typical drama will unfold in this manner (Thanks to Gene Lowery, The Homiletical Plot):

• Oops! Something is not quite right here.
• Ugh. There’s a real problem here. 
• Aha! Maybe there is a way out.
• Whee! The hero did it. We’re saved!
• Ahhh. A time of reflection on the good result.

Things are getting set for the OOPS. It’s already clear that there’s going to be an oops, when we read about the presence of the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. These two trees will come into play by the end of Genesis 3. And though the stage is only being set, be sure of this: there will be trouble. But there is a tree of life. Even is there is a tree of the knowledge of good and evil. 

My encounter with those two skeptics in my college philosophy class was an “oops” moment. It became an “ugh” moment when I realized I needed to be more savvy to satan’s ways and means. That’s a lesson I’m still learning. And I’m thankful that the end of the story is one of joy and celebration. The drama will unfold. It will take centuries to play out, but the end will result in the praise of God’s glorious grace. Mine included. Yours?