David Bahn – Reflections

I was preaching in the Arkansas Depart of Corrections Varner Unit. This high-security state prison for men is located about 30 miles from where we lived at the time. Our church offered to bring our choir to perform our Easter cantata there. The chapel was full to capacity. More than 200 men – all in white overalls – sat tightly-packed in the pews. There were Amen’s and other expressions of agreement and encouragement throughout my sermon. One man sat on the front row and every now and then shouted out, “Think about it!”

It’s not a man sitting on the front row calling out think about it here, but rather an obscure word. The word selah (סֶלָה,) occurs three times in this psalm. The meaning is not controversial, but  it is unclear. Some say it’s a liturgical term, calling for a musical interlude, or some liturgical action. Others suggest it is a call to pause and reflect. A friend said, in jest, “It’s what David said when he came to the end of a verse and couldn’t remember the next line!” I like the idea of selah being an invitation to pause and reflect – to think about it.

The first occurance of selah is at the end of the second strophe of Psalm 32:

For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away
    through my groaning all day long.
⁴ For day and night your hand was heavy upon me;
    my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer. Selah

Guilt renders us anxious, and we can groan, and even waste away under its weight. I have previously shared how fear did that to me many years ago. We are to see God’s hand in our times of anxiety, fretting, fear, and restlessness. Certainly we must see the hand of God in times of unresolved guilt, calling us to repent. While it could be the devil stirring up false guilt, or even bringing up previously-forgiven sins, it can also be God wanting us to experience a deeper sense of peace through an honest confession of our sin. His desire is not to cause us pain for pain’s sake, but to drive us to confess our sins and find his mercy and forgiveness. Think about it.

Then comes the second invitation:

I acknowledged my sin to you,
    and I did not cover my iniquity;
I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,”
    and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah

Clearly this shows that God’s desire is to give us peace, relief from shame, and to forgive our sins. In the acknowledgement of our sin we find truest peace. Jesus put it this way, “…the truth will set you free.” (John 8:32) God sets us free when we stop pretending we’re good enough to approach him, and acknowledge our sin and seek his forgiveness. Think about it.

Then comes the third:

Therefore let everyone who is godly
    offer prayer to you at a time when you may be found;
surely in the rush of great waters,
    they shall not reach him.
⁷ You are a hiding place for me;
    you preserve me from trouble;
    you surround me with shouts of deliverance. Selah

We are all urged to confess our sins to God. We are all urged to acknowledge our need for his deliverance. We are all to recognize and avoid the dangerous torrents of destruction that come to those who do not repent, and to rejoice in God’s deliverance. Think about it.

Think about it. We suffer if we don’t confess our sins. God forgives the sins of those who acknowledge their transgressions. He delivers us from the catastrophic destruction that comes upon those who do not repent. Pause and ponder these things. Think about it!

Are you one in a million? Are you in the elite class? Do you qualify for this exclusive opportunity? At least sometimes we want to fit into this category of society. We are really happy to be Diamond and get the free room upgrade, or Elite Status and get the seat upgrade on the plane. Or what if somehow we snag a VIP invitation which puts us at the front of the line and the best seat at the concert? We’re good with that. And tell the truth, if you’re the only one in the HOV lane? You’re good with that, aren’t you?

On the other hand, David says, “Therefore let everyone who is godly offer prayer to you at a time when you may be found; surely in the rush of great waters, they shall not reach him.” (v. 6) On the one hand it seems like good and godly advice: we should all pray. That’s what godly people do. We should pray when God may be found – not just in our moments of urgent need and only on our schedule of personal convenience. We should “at all times and in all places” (cf. Proper Preface for Communion) give honor to God. 

A closer look at the context of this verse reveals a more nuanced meaning. This verse falls within a psalm about needing to confess our sins, and receive God’s forgiveness. It’s all about not wasting away in our groanings because we refuse to acknowledge our sins and need for God’s forgiveness. It’s all about sin and grace, truth and mercy.

Godly people, we must conclude, need to confess their sins before God. We who follow Jesus must admit that we fail to do so all too often. One failure to follow Jesus is too often, but we fail daily. We drown the old nature only to find him popping up out of the water the next day to take us down into the swirling abyss of transgressions and sins.

Luther says the we must drown the Old Adam daily because the he is such a good swimmer. The rush of the great waters can all too easily catch us by surprise and overwhelm us. This is a life-long, every-day practice. Luther says that the entire life of the believer should be one of repentance (the first of Martin Luther’s 95 Theses of 1517). We are – even the godly – both saint and sinner.

“The desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do,” says Paul. (Galatians 5:17)

If you struggle with this, take heart! It is proof of the Holy Spirit’s work in you. Otherwise we would never worry about sin, repentance, guilt, or failure. But with the Holy Spirit we can embrace this verse wholeheartedly, confident that by remaining steadfast in our repentant spirit, we will not be overwhelmed by the waters.

The Arbinger Institute’s excellent book, Leadership and Self-Deception is an eye opener. In every possible way it challenged me to look at others from a totally different perspective. I didn’t always do it, but it did prove helpful when I faced challenges with colleagues in ministry, coworkers and ministry team leaders whom I was leading and supervising. It’s not a dismissive and perfunctory “It’s not you, it’s me” approach to working with others. Rather, it calls us to consider whether I’ve written someone off, put them in a box, or misunderstood them when I don’t see what I want in someone’s performance. I highly recommend the book.

An example comes to mind. Years ago I was working with congregation members to rewrite the constitution of our church. In that process, the main person to write it, was saying things I didn’t agree with, or (I later learned) correctly understand. I commented to another member that Joe [not his real name] “didn’t really get it.” To my horror, I later discovered that the comment was conveyed to Joe. I came to realize that I was the one who didn’t get it. And even though I said as much to him, our relationship was completely severed. We never recovered. I had hurt him too badly. I thought I understood. And perhaps I did have a better handle on things. But I certainly didn’t understand him. I had deceived myself and put him in a box of my making: the wrong box.

David laments the time he refused to acknowledge his sin. He suffered physically in the throes of his silence and refusal to consider his own failures and shortcomings. His bones wasted away, he says. God laid his hands on David. He not only allowed him to suffer, it’s apparent that he caused David to suffer in his resolute unwillingness to confess his sin.

That was an act of God’s love for David. Rather than let David continue to suffer under the delusion of his guiltlessness, God brings David to his knees so that he will confess his sins and find forgiveness. Self deception not only hurts others – putting them in a box of their guilt and failures in which they do not belong – it is self-destructive. Self-deception is self-destructive.

Confession brings freedom, forgiveness, and fullness of life. I wish I had checked more carefully my own biases and assumptions about Joe’s perspective on the constitution rewrite. But an even greater danger lies in any refusal to admit before God our failures and need for God’s mercy and forgiveness. John says that if we say we are without sin we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. Apart from him we have no pathway to the Father. Truth is essential to our salvation. The truth is we need God’s forgiveness. We all do. The truth is also God forgives those who confess their sins, and removes them from us as far as the east is from the west. The danger is that we would deceive ourselves into believing we don’t really need it.

At a particular intersection I often navigate, two lanes of traffic turn left. Often the cars in the left-most lane want to merge into the right lane so that they can then turn right at the next intersection. It’s very common to see drivers nose in to the smallest of spaces between cars. I have a rule as we negotiate those turns and lane changes. If someone puts on his turn signal, indicating that he wants to merge into that right lane, I’ll back off the gas and let the merge happen. If not, I’m liable to keep the space a little more tight. I’m not sure my attitude is really all that gracious, but it is what I do. Let me know you want to merge, and I’ll let you merge!

I like to think of that as a metaphor for prayer. The Bible says, “You have not because you ask not.” (James 4:2) In this case it is also a metaphor for confession of sins. David wrote these words one thousand years before John wrote, “If we confess our sins, God is faithful and just to forgive our sins.” (1 John 1:9) This is an eternal truth, revealed by God, and experienced by God’s people for thousands of years. Keep quiet and suffer internal torment and angst. Speak up, and you discover God’s gift of peace.

Bill Wilson codified this for those struggling with addiction, when he laid out the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. Steps four and five are a powerful couplet:

Step Four

“We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.”

Step Five

“We admitted to God, to ourselves and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.”

Further insight about Step Five reminds us:

“All the world’s a stage.” Addicts and alcoholics know this all too well. A huge amount of time and energy is spent acting, pretending, making excuses, manipulating and covering up. Preserving a dishonest lifestyle requires dishonesty–wearing masks and playing charades. Step Five means it is time to put away the masks, stop acting and get ready to take action. 

David had to be confronted in his sin, but once he was, he immediately confessed it to Nathan. The account is found in 2 Samuel 12:1-15. Nathan knew of the sin. But David needed to acknowledge the evil of what he had done, and admit that he had actually sinned. He could no longer pretend that all was well and that his life was truly right. He confessed his sin, and God forgave him.

The same is true for us. If we’re hiding something we need to bring it to the light of day. That may require admitting to yourself that you have actually done something truly wrong and sinful. (If so, join the club! All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.) You might need to speak with a pastor or someone you can fully trust in order to get it off your conscience. You surely must say it to God. I’ve found it helpful to write it out. I’ve done so, and afterward destroyed the document as a means of actively reflecting the reality of confession and forgiveness.

God removes sin from us as far as the east is from the west. We more fully realize this when we admit it and confess our sins out loud.

Maybe you’ve had to deal with shame and guilt that haunts, stalks, accuses, and imprisons. When we’re racked with guilt it is such sweetness to learn of God’s forgiveness. When we’ve seen over the edge of the abyss between us and God, and realized that we cannot span that chasm, it is such joy to learn that Jesus has spanned it for us. When we realize we have hurt our loved ones, or betrayed God’s trust, or failed again to do the good we know we should, the message of God’s mercy is so precious.

But when we don’t even know we need forgiveness, we still do. In Psalm 19 we are led to pray, “Forgive me of my hidden faults.”  In either case – known sins that plague us, or sins of which we are unaware, David reminds us of the blessing of being forgiven. Although this psalm is numbered before Psalm 51, it may have been written later, and in part a fulfillment of part the the prayer there, “Restore to me the joy of your salvation and uphold me with your free spirit. Then I will teach transgressors your ways…” Perhaps this is David’s way of teaching the likes of me the ways of God.

God’s ways are the ways of forgiveness, mercy, grace, and redemption. In fact, we have no other hope than to be forgiven of our sins if we are to live with God who is pure, holy, and just. So it is most certainly true: Blessed is the one transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered.

It might be that we need to be confronted in our sin – just as David awas by the prophet Nathan. If so, may the Holy Spirit work in our hearts that which he worked in David’s heart. The upshot of that encounter is a beautiful expression of repentance and forgiveness. Such a blessing!

Nathan said to David, “You are the man! …⁹ Why have you despised the word of the Lord, to do what is evil in his sight? … ¹³ David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.” And Nathan said to David, “The Lord also has put away your sin; you shall not die.  – 2 Samuel 12:7, 9, 13

It’s nothing we deserve. It is God’s gracious and precious gift – through Jesus, for all who repent and believe.

Can you identify specific times in your life when God’s presence, provision, and protection were most needed? Three times come immediately to mind for me. When we were first married and at the seminary where I was studying to become a pastor, we faced some very significant challenges. Although Diane had graduated with honors from Valparaiso University, the only job she could find was rather menial and quite low paying. We soon faced a financial challenge that had us sitting on the floor of our living room and counting all the money we had in the world. It was something like $4.17. We had food in the pantry. The rent wasn’t due right away. But we knew we needed God’s provision. We decided to get a student loan. One thousand dollars made all the difference in the world and we managed by the grace of God – and his provision of other financial aid – to make it through those four years of postgraduate education with a total of $1,000 in debt!

Then came the trip across the western slope of the Rocky Mountains. The further we traveled west to our first assignment in Vernal Utah, the more anxious, fearful, insecure, and inadequate I felt. By the time of my installation service, I was physically sick from anxiety. Churning stomach. Crampy gut. Washed-out face. Spaced-out eyes. How I needed God’s presence and peace. I finally realized it, and thank God for our time and experiences there. The four years of God’s presence, peace, and provision, sustained us in ways too numerous to recount.

Our fourth son was born more than 5 weeks early. He weighed 3# 12 ½ oz. He was tiny and for a while we were worried that he had cystic fibrosis. Well, actually, I was more worried than Diane. She saw how healthy he was and correctly didn’t fret about the diagnosis like I did. God’s protection of this tiny baby was a blessing we both experienced on the Sunday morning he was baptized. Not in church, but in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit of the hospital, and from a styrofoam cup, not at a baptismal font. But we both knew at the moment of his baptism there were promises of God attached to him that previously had not been. What peace that brought to our hearts.

When these things happen in our lives we can talk about God, “He…” But we can also talk to God, “You…” That’s what David does in this psalm. And so did we during those times of challenge, danger, anxiety, and uncertainty. So can you. Whatever you are facing, you can talk about God. And you can talk to him. He listens…even though he has much to do. Last night we closed our choir practice with prayer. One choir member prayed, “God, you have so much to do. Thank you for hearing our prayers and answering them.” In a way, that was talking about God as well as to him. He does indeed have much to do. And we can talk with him about our needs as well. He hears us. Thank you, God! Amen.

Our son answered the doorbell one afternoon to the delightful surprise of seeing Diane’s mom and dad on our stoop. They had just completed a 7 hour road trip from Missouri to Arkansas, where we lived at the time. We must not have told our kids that they were coming to visit, and Tim (maybe 9 or 10 years old at the time) said, “What are you doing here?” He didn’t mean it in any unkind way. We all loved having them visit. They were a source of joy and blessing whenever they came. From help in the kitchen to furniture refinishing and repainting bedrooms, they brought a cheerful and willing-to-help attitude. But Tim’s was a bit of an unusual greeting.

David describes the blessings of God in the context of a close and intimate relationship. God does great things for David as he points out in the first three verses of this psalm. God is with him in challenging times. He hopes for and delights in God’s presence. He professes that he will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. His delight in the Lord’s presence runs throughout these verses. God is leading, directing, providing, restoring, protecting, correcting, saving, and honoring him throughout his life. That happens because God is with him, and David is with God.

Perhaps you’ve heard Dolly Parton’s song, Don’t Make Me Have to Come Down There. I’ve pasted the lyrics below. It’s a somewhat whimsical take on the idea that we’re so messed up down here on earth that God is threatening to step in to straighten things out. We need to get our act together. But it misses the true purpose and impact of God’s presence in our lives. He’s not going to come down here just to straighten things out. He came down here to save and redeem us. When he comes again, it will be for the final accounting of all we have done or failed to do. It will also be to take his own to be with him forever.

The blessing of God’s presence will be fully enjoyed by those who love him and yearn for his guidance, provision, and salvation. That’s the promise of God recorded in Revelation 21:1-3

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. ² And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. ³ And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them,  and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God.

God’s presence is a blessing for which his people long. It’s better even than a visit from the grandparents!

Too many people think of God as a killjoy. A downer. A grumpy curmudgeon. An intrusion. Oh how wrong on so many levels! God is the author of joy. He lifts up the humble and downtrodden. He delights in lovingkindness. And to say that God intrudes is to get things completely upside down. We’re in his world. We live at his pleasure. We are his creatures. We answer to him.

God delights in blessing people. In order fully to experience those blessings to the fullest we must put ourselves in an attitude of humility and obedience. Humility acknowledges our need for God. Humility opens our hearts to receive from God. Humility puts us in a posture of openness. Obedience puts us in alignment with the blessings of God. Obedience puts us where he has placed the necessary provisions for life. Obedience enables us fully to experience God’s blessings.

David speaks of God’s blessings of rest, provision, peace, and restoration. All these come to him in his quietness of humility and posture of obedience. David recognizes that God provides for all his needs. He rejoices in the rest and restoration God provides along still waters and in green pastures. He embraces the gift of peace that comes from following the paths of righteousness. All this is not only from God, but also because of God’s good character and name.

Because of all this David has confidence in the face of death. He is not worried about his enemies. He is certain of an abundant supply of all he needs – no matter the challenges around him. This comes as he follows the paths of righteousness, which is obedience. If humility is the necessary first step in receiving God’s grace, then obedience is the necessary second, third, fourth, and every step for the fullness of God’s blessings.

David will experience this first hand when he wanders off the path of God’s blessing and sins with Bathsheba. He will see how destructive disobedience is when his own son, Absalom, rebels. He experiences the refreshment of God’s grace when he humbles himself in the face of Nathan’s confrontation. And he sets himself back on the path of obedience after confessing his sin. Take a look at Psalms 32 & 51 to hear David’s confession and admonition to us all. Repent and bring forth the fruit of repentance as John the Baptizer would say 1000 years later. (cf. Luke 3:8)

The first step in the AA 12-Step recovery program is to admit that you have a problem. That’s an attitude of humility. Other steps require confession, obedience, and even helping others along the way. That’s the path of obedience. That’s nothing new. These are God’s ways from of old. Blessed is the one who will humble himself before God, and who will fully experience the blessings of God in following his paths of righteousness.

Consider this also: David sought to help others along the way of God’s blessing. That’s why we have this psalm. The fullest experience of God’s blessings will come as we follow David’s example of repentance, faith, obedience, and leading others as God give us opportunity.