David Bahn – Reflections

Years ago I heard the story of the conversion of Nicky Cruz, a notorious gang member. Here’s a snippet of Nicky’s story:

Arrested countless times, a court-ordered psychiatrist pronounced Nicky’s fate as “headed to prison, the electric chair, and hell.” No authority figure could reach Cruz – until he met a skinny street-preacher named David Wilkerson. He disarmed Nicky – showing him something he’d never known before: relentless love. His interest in the young thug was persistent. Nicky beat him up, spit on him and, on one occasion, seriously threatened his life, yet the love of God remained – stronger than any adversary Nicky had ever encountered. Finally, Wilkerson’s presentation of the gospel message and the love of Jesus melted the thick walls of Nicky’s heart. He received the forgiveness, love and new life that can only come through Jesus. Since then, he has dedicated that life to helping others find the same freedom. – Hachette

Like Saul’s conversion his was dramatic and his new life profoundly impactful. Most followers of Jesus don’t have stories quite so dramatic. But a closer look at this account raises up two others who are rightly part of this story. Ananias comes to Saul and heals his blindness. This opens the door for Saul to connect with the disciples in Jerusalem. And then when Saul goes to Jerusalem he is not readily accepted.

Thank God for Barnabas. He will stand in for Saul. He will introduce him to the Apostles. He will be true to his name, ‘Son of Encouragement.’ We don’t know what kind of transformation Barnabas went through to get him to believe in Jesus and want to encourage Saul. It might be a very ordinary progression of growing awareness to the implications of God’s grace.

There is more at stake here than Paul’s feelings. His future missionary activity will lead him back to Jerusalem and he will need the listening ears of the Apostles there. The mission of God to all nations, Jerusalem, Judea, Samaria, and the ends of the earth is at stake. All this is being set in motion here not only by Saul’s transformation, but aided also by Ananias’ and Barnabas’ ministrations.

More and more the implications of God’s grace to us must play out in our lives. We must recognize that the grace we have received is grace we also must share. We must hold fast to the idea that God does amazing and far-reaching work through those whose stories are sensational, but also through those whose growing awareness of his grace is less dramatic.

You may not have a dramatic transformation story, but you may play a part in the impact of those whose story is more sensational. This is the grace of Jesus at work in all our lives.

She asked, “Should I put it in for 11 or 22?”

“I think 22 would be better,” came the answer.

It was time to heat something in the microwave. This is a fast method of heating food. We’re talking seconds not minutes most of the time. But this person (real, but not related) had it down to an art. Rather than having to move her finger from the 2 to the 0 on the keypad, she would touch 22. Quicker. More expedient. Same for 11 as opposed to moving all the way from the 1 to the 0 on the microwave keypad.

We live in a microwave world. We want things now. Amazon is even delivering certain things by drone in College Station, Texas – within an hour from being ordered! That’s faster than going to the store! And speed counts. We want our stuff now. I like next day delivery. If I can get it overnight so much the better.

But seldom is this the pathway of faithfulness a quick trip. And our spiritual growth comes over time. Microwave Christianity is likely to be like seed sown in rocky soil: they immediately sprang up, since they had no depth of soil, but when the sun rose they were scorched. And since they had no root, they withered away. (Matthew 13:5-6) 

Saul is a great example of this. His conversion was sudden and dramatic. His blindness was lifted in one moment, and the next he was baptized. He took food and was strengthened. Next thing you know he’s confounding the Jews in Damascus, proving Jesus is the Christ.

But when he goes to Jerusalem, the pace slows dramatically. The disciples there are not so sure about this new convert. It will take Barnabas to intercede for him, and bring him into the fellowship of the disciples there. Eventually he is brought to Caesarea and then to Tarsus. All this takes time. Fourteen years later (Galatians 2:1) Paul will return to Jerusalem. There is reason to believe that Paul actually did missionary work during those 14 years. But he was surely also being trained, refined, taught, and challenged by God during that time. 

Our path of faithfulness may not be as challenging as was Paul’s. But we are called to a long obedience in the same direction, as Eugene Peterson puts it. Following Jesus requires a deepening life of prayer, service, and faith. It’s no microwave process. But Jesus is with us every second along the way.

When I was first in ministry, my wife lovingly told me, “You don’t have to have a chip on your shoulder about being a Lutheran.” Perhaps she recognized an over-abundance of zealotry on my part. Some of that was bred into me by my seminary education. I had learned so much! And I love Lutheran theology! Some of it may have had to do with being identified by some as an up-and-coming political force in our church body. Whew! Were they wrong!

Whatever the reason, apparently I was pretty zealous in my defense of sound theology centered in Jesus, grounded in his word, and confessed for centuries by faithful men and women. That’s not a bad thing. It’s just a thing.

Saul was a zealous convert to this faith. The reality of Jesus’ resurrection had struck him blind. Now that he could see – both physically and spiritually – he was out to tell everyone he could this great and good news. Luke tell us, “For some days he was with the disciples at Damascus. And immediately he proclaimed Jesus in the synagogues, saying, ‘He is the Son of God.’” He reasoned with the Jews, proving that Jesus was the Christ. I’m guessing theirs was a measured response.

A recent Barna poll revealed “Teens’ Perspective of Jesus Christ.” 47% of all Teens and 61% of Christians believe that Jesus was crucified. 33% of all Teens and 50% of Christians believe that Jesus was raised from the dead. 21% of all Teens and 32% of Christians believe that Jesus is active in the world today.

Ugh. It seems clear to me that somehow we must help our teens (and the rest of the generations) realize that Jesus is the Son of God, the Christ, crucified, dead, buried, raised from the dead and coming again to receive his own into his eternal kingdom. I’m not sure how zealous we need to be, but I am sure we cannot sit back and let this trend continue. Measured response or not, let’s make it clear that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the living God.

Years ago I sought the help of a Christian counselor. His name is Bruce and he was a powerful influence in my life, and his ministry to me literally did change my life. I remember two different comments by others regarding this experience. One said, “You’re really brave going to see Bruce.” I learned that another had spoken about me saying “He’s really changed.”

In regard to the first comment, I had no idea how brave I was being – even though it turned out to require far more courage to complete the process than I had initially realized. As far as really changing, I must simply allow the comment to have been true. I was not aware of a major personal transition.

Saul would need great courage to complete the work that God had in store for him. In fact, Jesus had already told Ananias, “I will show him how much he must suffer for the sake of my name.” (Acts 9:16) And his life will have been dramatically transformed. It would not be either quick or easy. But it would come.

The dramatic transformation would come through a lightning strike, a blindness, a healing, and time. And people were amazed. Can this be the same one who had made havoc with us? Is this for real? On top of that the Jews were out to kill him. Doubters on one side. Killers on the other. What kind of transformation is this? Isn’t life supposed to get better when God transforms us into something better?

The pathway will not be an easy one. But Saul will be delivered. He will be encouraged. He will serve faithfully. God’s kingdom will grow. The church will multiply. Perhaps we will play a role in someone’s transformation. Maybe we’re being transformed. This is the good and gracious work of Jesus for our good and the blessing of many.

I used to think I had a high tolerance for pain. Maybe I did, but it showed. One Sunday, sometime before I had hip replacement surgery I was in pain. I was standing behind the altar in worship and in order to deal with the pain, I gripped a small piece of trim on the back of the altar. Diane was playing the piano at that service and was in easy eye contact with me. She later asked me, “What did I do wrong today?”

What do you mean?

You were glaring at me.

No I wasn’t.

Oh you were. What did I do wrong? 

Nothing!

Why were you glaring at me then…Oh, wait. Were you in pain?

That’s when I decided it was time for surgery. The pain was clouding my expression of love and kindness.

Jesus tells Ananias, “I will show him how much he must suffer for the sake of my name.” And Saul, who becomes Paul when he begins his missionary work among the Gentiles learns about suffering. He writes:

Five times I received at the hands of the Jews the forty lashes less one. ²⁵ Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I was adrift at sea; ²⁶ on frequent journeys, in danger from rivers, danger from robbers, danger from my own people, danger from Gentiles, danger in the city, danger in the wilderness, danger at sea, danger from false brothers; ²⁷ in toil and hardship, through many a sleepless night, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure. ²⁸ And, apart from other things, there is the daily pressure on me of my anxiety for all the churches. – 2 Corinthians 11:24-28

It takes a certain intrepidity to keep going in the face of such persecution. There’s no surgery to remove those kinds of pains. But Paul endured them all because he was convinced of something we all need to remember. He writes, “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.” (Romans 8:18)

I’m not going to equate my hip pain with suffering for the sake of Jesus’ name. But I do believe that whatever inconvenience, pain, suffering or worse we must endure because we follow Jesus will pale in comparison to the joy and restoration in the life of the world to come. It could be as simple as losing an hour of sleep in order to attend worship. It could be giving a sacrificial gift for the sake of God’s mission. It could mean enduring ridicule because we actually believe in Jesus. For some it’s far worse.

Whatever the pain or loss, we have the promise of Jesus:  For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel’s will save it. (Mark 8:35)

I would get to the church early, before anyone was around, walk around the empty sanctuary singing hymns out loud and praying. It was 1984, but I wasn’t worried about Big Brother. It was our newborn little brother to his three older brothers for whom I was praying. Earnestly. Desperately. Seeking God’s mercy. Leaning on God’s faithfulness. Singing his praises. Asking for his help.

These days it is not often so urgent. But I still do pray. Every night my phone lights up with texts from call committee members from three different churches. They are seeking a man to serve as their pastor, and I am joining them at 9 PM praying for them. I include prayers for three other churches who don’t have a 9 PM texting ritual of Amens but who have set aside a specific time each day to pray. Every afternoon at 3:33 my phone begins to blink Amens from members of our home Life Group. We chose that time because of God’s promise through the prophet in Jeremiah 33:3, “Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.”

We pray at meal times, and when we go to bed on a regular basis. But there are those times when it becomes vitally important to pray with urgency, clarity, anticipation, and out of a desperate need. Those prayers are different. Or perhaps I should say we express them from a different awareness of our urgent need.

I wonder what Saul’s cohearts thought of this situation. I wonder where they were as Saul was blind and stymied there in Damascus.  I wonder if he dismissed his entourage, sending them back to Jerusalem while he waited it out on Straight Street. But I don’t wonder what he was doing. “Saul is praying,” God tells Ananias. Saul was in trouble. Blind and no longer large and in charge. No longer taking care of God’s business. Calling on God to help him in his time of need.

God will answer Saul’s prayer. Out of great love for Saul and for all people, God will send Ananias to heal his physical blindness. He was still in the process of being healed of his spiritual blindness. But that too will come. In fact, I wonder whether Saul’s prayers were two-fold: Help me see how I was persecuting Jesus, and the implications of his intervention in my life. And let me see again. 

Is there a prayer on your heart? God is listening. The answer might be more nuanced and complex than you imagine. But it will be a good answer. For God listens to those who call on him in Jesus – whenever that prayer arises.

Where are you off to now?

I’m heading over to Straight Street.

Whatever for? 

There’s someone I need to see.

Who would that be?

It’s a man in need.

What man?

His name is Saul.

Saul who?

Saul of Tarsus…now I know what you’re going to say. But just wait.

What do you mean, just wait! I know about this man. He’s a real trouble-maker. He has the authority to haul us both off to prison. All because we follow Jesus of Nazareth. 

Yes, but God told me to go and heal him of his blindness.

What! So you’re a healer now??!!!

Such might have been a conversation between Ananias and his wife. It could also be reframed as a conversation between Ananias and God. Are you sure you want me to go and heal Saul?!? I’ve heard about him…

Saul’s reputation may have preceded him. But it was about to change. Dramatically. And Ananias was to play a major role in bringing about that change. Scales would fall from Saul’s eyes. New understandings about the depth of God’s grace and mercy were soon to be revealed. God’s goodness was being played out in the life of one Saul of Tarsus at the hands of Ananias of Damascus.

Maybe you’ll never lay hands on someone and give them sight. But you may open someone’s eyes to God’s grace and truth by your words, acts of kindness, listening ear, or prayers. The challenge may not be as daunting, or maybe even more so. But think of the joy you’ll experience when you unlock someone’s heart to God’s salvation!

Peter describes the people of God as living stones being built into a temple of praise to God (1 Peter 2:4-5). Is it any wonder? Jesus called Peter the Rock upon which he would build his church (Matthew 16:18). Paul, on the other hand speaks of the church as the body of Christ. Certainly his preference for that term relates to this very passage. Saul is on the way to persecute Christians, men and women alike. Jesus calls out to him saying, “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?” [emphasis added]

Saul did not realize that Jesus was so fully connected to his people that when he was persecuting Jesus’ followers, he was persecuting Jesus himself.

The question itself is profound. “Why are you persecuting me?” What was Saul’s motive? Why was he so driven? What was at work in him that would cause him to act so zealously? What did he think he needed to do? Who was he protecting? Why?

Such behavior always puzzles me. I once asked a fellow pastor why he felt the need to act so unkindly toward fellow pastors who he believed to be wrong. “You don’t have to do that,” I said. “Oh, yes I do. They must be stopped!” he replied. Somehow he felt the need to defend the truth (as he saw it); as though God had no other means by which to see that truth prevails.

God’s means in this case was to knock Saul to the ground and strike him blind. This was not merely to protect the truth (it will stand in the end). His dramatic intervention was to protect his people, and to bring more people into the body of Christ. God didn’t want merely to stop Saul from persecuting him and his people. He wanted to set Saul on a new course and expand the blessings of his grace to more people who were desperately in need. Saul will be his tool to do just that. From Body of Christ persecutor to Body of Christ builder!

Paul would later write to the church in Corinth about their relationship to Jesus and to each other. He would tell them that they are the body of Christ and each one valuable to Jesus and to each other. He had to learn his lesson the hard way. But he learned it. And he became God’s messenger of grace, mercy, and peace for millions through his missionary efforts and his letters.