David Bahn – Reflections

Ephesians 4:25-32

 Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. ²⁶  Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, ²⁷ and give no opportunity to the devil. ²⁸ Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. ²⁹  Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. ³⁰ And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. ³¹  Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. ³²  Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

When our sons were growing up we had a rule: when they got into a fight, we would have them hold hands, face each other and say, “I’m sorry.” I’m not certain it was always deeply-felt sorrow, but they did it. And usually by the time they got around to saying it, they were smiling in self-conscious awareness that they – two boys – were holding hands who were once using those hands to hurt one another. And while their “I’m sorry’s” were perhaps not totally sincere, they were definitely better words than “I hate you! You’re such a jerk!” and other such verbal missiles that had been previously launched at each other.

Maybe you learned the saying in school, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Sadly, this little ditty – used to deflect unkind words from the school bully – is false through and through. Words can hurt. Deeply. Words of judgment and condemnation from fathers have scarred children from their childhood. Words of dismissal and un-care have hurt children for years. Words can certainly take their toll.

But words can also heal. Words of compassion, love, kindness, forgiveness and hope can make all the difference in the world. When we choose intentionally to bring words to others that are fitting to the occasion, good for building up, giving grace we are doing what God does. For his word to us is a good word. The last words spoken by the pastor in many churches is called the “Benediction.” The word means good word. It is a word of favor, blessing, goodness, and love. It is God’s word to his people.

When we fail to give the good word to others near to our hearts we must seek the forgiveness that Christ gives. Filled with that grace we will forgive their unkind words and look for God’s Spirit to move them to speak good words to us: fitting words that build up others.